Fantastic Piece of Logic译文翻译(可打印修改)

荒谬的的逻辑

Sydney J. Harries

One of the most fantastic pieces of logic I’ve ever seen in print is the rationale of capital punishment recently offered by Dr.George Crane, the only syndicated columnist who signs himself, “Ph.D., M.D.”

我曾经在出版物中见过最荒谬的逻辑之一，是乔治克莱恩博士最近提出来的关于死刑的逻辑依据。他是唯一一个署名哲学博士和医学博士的专栏作家。

He writes:” Clergymen should stress the fact that without capital punishment, there would be Christianity at all. If Jesus had not been sentenced to death on the cross, how could there be any Catholic or Protestant churches today? So Christianity owes its very existence to capital punishment.”

他写道：“牧师应该强调这样一个事实,如果没有死刑,那么怎会有基督教呢。如果耶稣没有被钉在十字架上判处死刑,今天怎么可能会有天主教或新教呢?因此，基督教的存在得益于死刑。”

With the use of this tremendous reasoning device, what cannot be justified in history? For instance, without the madness and despotism of King George I, there would have been no American Revolution and no United States of America.

运用这种强大的推理方法，历史上还有什么不能被认定为是合理的？比如，没有国王乔治一世疯狂和专制，就不会有美国革命和美利坚合众国。

Many of the King’s advisers and members of Parliament were in favor of giving the colonies more freedom and self-government and lifting the harsh taxes that had been imposed on them.

许多国王的顾问和议会议员都赞成给予殖民地更多的自由和自治权，并解除强加在他们身上的苛捐杂税。

But George I, who eventually went mad, bitterly resisted such advice, and clamped down on the colonists. So we should be grateful to insanity and despotism for resulting in the U.S.A. Ergo, insanity and despotism are good things, just as capital punishment is.

但是乔治一世最终变得疯狂了，强烈反对这样的建议，镇压这些殖民地者。因此我们应该感谢疯狂和专制导致美国的诞生。疯狂和专制就像死刑一样也是好的东西。

Let’s keep in mind, too, that the Inquisition in Spain was a marvelous thing—because it inaugurated the resistance to Roman Catholicism all over Europe, culminating in the Protestant Reformation. So without the Inquisition, there might have been no Protestant Church, which owes its very existence to religious repression.

我们要牢记，西班牙宗教法庭是一件了不起的事，因为它引起了全欧洲对罗马天主教的抵抗，最终导致新教改革。因此没有宗教法庭，那也不会有新教，新教的存在要归功于宗教镇压。

Ergo, once more, Inquisitions are good, just as capital punishment is right, because they result in the creation of a new, reformed church. Praise be to all inquisitors everywhere.

因此，宗教法庭就像死刑是正当的一样，也是好的。因为它们导致了一个新的，改革的教派的成立。感谢天下所有的审判官。

There is no limit to what the imaginative historian can do with this device, henceforth to be known as “Crane’s Equation.” Since most good things have arisen from the bad conditions that caused them, we should therefore support all bad things on the basis that they will stimulate truth, reason, justice, freedom, and reform.

有了这种推理手段，今后就称为“克兰方程”，富有想象力的历史学家就没有什么限制了。由于大多数好的事情源于不好的情况，并且导致这种情况。因此我们应该支持所有的坏的事情，根据它们能激发真理，理性，公平，自由和改革。

Slavery is excellent, because it precipitated the Civil War, and thus took the blacks out of bondage. Obviously, without slavery there could have been no Emancipation. Infectious and contagious diseases are marvelous things, too, since without them we never would have developed out anti-toxins.

奴隶制是了不起的，因为它能引发内战，解放黑奴。很明显，没有奴隶制就不会有黑奴的解放。传染病也同样是了不起的事，因为如果没有它我们不会研发出来疫苗。

A man needs both a Ph.D and an M.D. to figure these matters out. I am eternally indebted to Dr. Crane for a whole new slant on history.

一个人需要一个哲学博士学位和医学博士学位才能弄清楚这些问题。我完全感激乔治克莱恩博士对历史提出一个全新的观点。