一.2010年河北省高考试题和25-30分档次作文的评分标准
1. 2010年高考作文原题:
第三节 书面表达(满分30分)
假设你是李华,你的美国笔友Peter曾表示希望来中国教书。你校现在需招聘外教,请给他写封信,告知招聘信息。内容主要包括:
1.教授课程:英语口语、英语写作、今日美国、今日英语等
2.授课对象:高中生(至少三年英语基础)
3.工作量:
—每周12学时,任选三门课
—担任学生英语俱乐部或英语校报顾问(advisor)
注意:
1.字数100左右;
2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯;
3.开头语已为你写好,请将完整的回信书写在答题卡上。
Dear Peter,
I remember you told me you were interested in teaching in China.
2.25-30分档次作文的评分标准
第五档:(25-30分)
完全完成了试题规定的任务。
— 覆盖所有内容要点。
— 应用了较多的语法结构和词汇。
— 词法结构或词汇方面有些许错误,但为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致。
— 有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使全文结构紧凑。
完全达到了预期的写作目的。
二.29分作文得分分析
1. 陈清同学高考29分作文:
Dear Peter:
I remember you told me you were interested in teaching in China. Now is a chance, which is just prepared for you: our school intends to hire a foreign teacher. Here is the information listed in the poster.
There are plenty of courses which can be taught in class, but the following must be taken into consideration: Speaking, Writing, American Today and Britain Today. You can choose three of the four above and it is necessary for you to teach for 12 hours per week. Besides, students, who you will teach, are required to have experiences of at least 3 years’ English learning. What’s more, if you are employed, you’ll occupy another position—the advisor of the school English Newspaper or Students’ English Club.
If you want some digital information, please contact me at your convenience. I ’m looking forward to your earliest reply.
Yours,
Li Hua
总的来说,陈清同学的作文达到了以上评分标准的三项主要要求。但笔者认为此作文更胜在两个方面:用词和句式的变化。
毫无疑问,在基础英语学习阶段,词和句的正确而丰富的使用最能代表学习者对语言的掌控能力。特别得一提的是,陈清同学的作文并没有按照所给提纲进行逐字逐句的翻译解释,而是将新东方课堂上所倡导的写作句式表达运用到了写作之中。这正是我们一贯倡
导的高分突破原则:即,写自己熟悉的内容才是制胜的法宝。
其写作句式的变化和用词正是新东方高考写作课堂上反复训练的,如:Now is a chance, which is just prepared …一句就是课堂所讲的倒装加定语从句的一种表达,类似的还有:1. Here is the information; 2. There are plenty of courses which can be taught in class, but the following…; 3. it is necessary for you to…; 4. students, who you will teach, are required to…; 5. …please contact me at your convenience. I ’m looking forward to your earliest reply. 这些都是新东方写作课堂上一再强调的内容。此外,表示起承转合的逻辑连词也是写作课堂上多次强调并倡导大家使用的,如:besides, what is more等。
此外,需要指出的是,满分作文并不是没有任何语法错误的作文,如: “have experiences of at least 3 years’ English learning” 表达上就稍微不妥,试改为:have three-year English learning experience 或者将 “Besides, students, who you will teach, are required to have experiences of at least 3 years’ English learning.”一句修正为:Besides, you are hoped to teach those students who have learned English for at least three years. 尽管出现了一些错误或不甚恰当的表达,但是依据河北省2010年高考评分标准中对于25-30档次学生作文的要求:“词法结构或词汇方面有些许错误,但为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致。”该作文是瑕不掩瑜。
陈清同学的作文能够同时赢得五位阅卷老师的青睐并得到全省最高分再次证明了新东方英语教学的实用性和针对性。
2. 与官方范文的对比分析
授课之时学生曾问到如果给官方所给范文打分,会打多少分。在这里笔者负责任的指出,官方范文并不代表阅卷时的满分水平,而且这一观点也是参加阅卷诸多教师的共识。可见,在当前的英语考试激烈竞争中,很多学生的写作水平已经超出官方范文。
下面我们来看一下官方给的高考英语写作范文:
Dear Peter,
I remember you told me you were interested in teaching in China. Our school now is looking for a native-speaker to teach some courses to senior high students. If you come, you can choose three of the following four courses: Speaking, Writing, Britain Today and American Today, and teach of English learning experiences. Besides teaching, you will also work as an advisor to our students’ English club or our school’s English newspaper.
Please let me know if you are interested and if you have any other questions. I’d be more than happy to help.
Best,
Li Hua
对比之后,笔者认为,官方范文的写作虽然语法正确、行文流畅、要点全面,但是句式和用词变化有所欠缺。而且,一同参加阅卷的诸多教师均有相同的感慨,即:部分学生的写作水平是在范文之上的。
因此,笔者建议各位同学在日常英语写作学习中重视评分标准的分析,同时树立起较高的目标。相信自己,经过努力,我们的写作水平可以超越官方范文在高考中取得理想的分数。而这一目标的实现必然离不开高效、科学的学习方法和训练方法。笔者衷心期待更多的学员在英语写作学习中能够不断超越自我、刷新自己、取得更大的成绩。
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