How Are Men’s Friendships Different From Women’s

Some research has looked at similarities and differences between male-male and female-female friendships. While the similarities tend to outweigh the differences, there are some interesting ways that men’s friendships differ from women’s.

一些研究已经探索了男人的友谊和女人的友谊的异同。在研究发现男人的友谊和女人的友谊同大于异的同时，还发现了其中有趣的不同。

The most common finding is that men’s friendships tend to be more “instrumental” and less emotional, while women friends are much more likely than men to share emotions and feelings. Men’s friendships are often based on shared activities (e.g., poker or golfing buddies), and are more “transactional” – reciprocating favors and working together on projects. In other words, men share activities, women share feelings.

最普遍的发现就是男人的友谊更趋向“起作用的”并且较少情绪化，然而女人比男人更偏向和朋友诉说情感、分享心情。男人的友谊通常是建立在共同的活动上的（例如打扑克牌或者打高尔夫球），并且更加“交易化”——礼尚往来、共同合作。换句话说，男人分享活动，女人分享感情。

One study looked at socioeconomic differences in men’s friendships and found that working class men have reciprocity with material goods and services (e.g., exchanging tools, or fixing cars), while middle class men were more likely to share leisure activities, such as travel or attending sporting events.

On the whole, women tend to invest more in maintaining their friendships – calling friends regularly, meeting more frequently, etc. Men, on the other hand, don’t feel as much need to stay in touch. One researcher who was investigating men’s friendships, asked for the names and addresses of very close friends (“a friend you could call up to loan you money or help you out of a bind”). The researcher was surprised that some of these “close” friends had had no contact for many years, and in a few cases, the close friend had passed away unbeknownst to the friend!

For the most part, men’s friendships tend to be less intimate and less supportive than friendships between women. However, there is some evidence that women’s friendships tend to be more fragile than men’s. One study found that the type and quality of men’s friendships were influenced by their parent’s friendship patterns. Men whose parents had broad and active social networks tended to have more friendships.

A very recent study suggests that one reason why men are more likely than women to go out drinking with friends is that alcohol causes men to be less inhibited and allows for more expression of emotions.

It is important to bear in mind, however, that men’s and women’s friendships have many more similarities than differences, and there is a wide range of different sorts of friendships for both men and women.

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